When I hit the point in life that I realized not only did I want change, I needed change, there were so many options. Focus on my job, my religion, my health and wellness overall, my friends and family, finding new hobbies. All of these options were a struggle, especially to pick just one. Because why can't we have them all? Well, we can, but at the moment I needed to focus on just one thing at a time if I was truly going to start moving forward. Each of these had one thing in common and no matter what choice I made, each direction kept telling me the same thing. "Trust the process!"
I was over here like "uhmm.. okay, cool, I trust it. Now what?" I've always been the girl dancing to the beat of my own drum, making my own rules for life, taking the road less traveled. But for some reason, this road terrified me. It was obvious I wasn't trusting the process, mostly because I wanted results overnight. I wanted to say okay I trust it, wake up in the morning, and all my problems just go away. I slowly learned (and I say slowly because I'm stubborn to the bone and was persistent in my way, waking up each morning hoping everything changed!) that it was going to take more than just showing up. Yes, showing up each day is a HUGE step that most people can't even get themselves to do. So while it was an amazing accomplishment in itself, I needed to do more.
My biggest question was, does anyone really trust the process? I mean, seriously. If the process is different for everyone because everyone is different, then who honestly knows what "the process" even is?? I found myself completely stumped. This was a rabbit chase to me. Is the world trying to brainwash me into thinking these are the things I need to be doing in order to get to where I want to be in life? Or maybe I can find my own path, my own process. That's when I had to remind myself I was being stubborn again. I did take my own path, that's what got me to where I was. And while I don't regret a single thing because of the lessons learned along the way, I knew if I wanted more out of life then I needed to just trust the process and see what happens. Wait, what.. Did I just tell myself to trust the process? Yep!
I was just as surprised to hear myself say it. But something deep inside was telling me this is what I needed to do. So I did. Every single day. I dove straight in and never second guessed it. Who I am today looks back, and I don't just shake my head at my past, but I've found it in me now to be able to laugh and say "Stephanie, what were you thinking? Why are you so hardheaded?" But guess what, that's me! This is who I am, who I've been, and who I'm still becoming. My process isn't over, it restarts every single day. And I hope that years from now I'm just as stubborn, hardheaded, and determined to succeed. I hope that you too can someday find it in yourself to trust the process.
Until next time,
Stephanie
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